Sunday, December 19, 2010

am I ready? I'm not so sure...

I ended up not running the mileage I needed for my last week before taper. All weekend I went back and forth on if I would really confess about my mileage. I'm feeling overly guilty and a lot worried at this point. Oh and slightly embarrassed. There is nothing left for me to do and honestly I took training too lax thanks to a multitude of excuses. On my vacation I relaxed too much, I didn't take training seriously when I should have, my work travel schedule, the holidays, my ankle is hurts worse thank when I broke a bone in my foot, I had 1 or 2 too many drinks... I can go on but I won't. I didn't put the miles in and I extremely worried I'm going to pay race weekend. But I have about 3 weeks to worry about that. Hopefully, I'll find some fabulous runners to pull me through race day or dig down deep and find something in this 30 years old body to get me through to the finish line and not feel like death. We shall see ;)

Enough of my depressing race ready talk. This weekend happened to be Christmas #1 at the in-laws in central Illinois. Luckily I did pretty good on all the nieces and nephews gifts - yea me! And it was fun seeing the extended family Saturday night. Sunday was fun with the immediate family Christmas. Again I think I scored even though I felt rushed to find the perfect gift.

Before we left for Christmas #1 on Friday I ran 19 miles in 14 degree F weather. It should have been 20 miles but at 18.5 I was done mentally and headed home. Because of the ice around here much of my path is closed so I ended up running a 3.6 mile loop. I had to pass the path to my home about 4 times before I just turned to go home. Besides the layers of clothes annoying me and weighing me down I thought I had lost my chin due to frostbite so I was ready to go home and get some lunch before hitting the road. It was a weird run and I never found my cadence partly because of the loop and partly because I felt rushed. Gah! I returned home not happy with myself and seriously doubting how I'll finish come January... I really hope I'm only being too hard on myself right now. Now it's time for taper just in time for Christmas!

10 comments:

Cassie said...

Don't be so hard on yourself! But I do totally understand. I defeated myself over the summer and didn't ever carry out my first half. I know that even though your training hasn't gone as planned, as long as you make it to your race you're going to love yourself for it and succeed! I hope you can lift your spirits and finish out Christmas wonderfully!

Johann said...

You ran 19 miles this weekend so of course you'll be OK on race day. Enjoy your taper!

jawsome said...

I think you'll be fine - lots of people only do an 18 miler as their last long run. Keep up the positive thoughts!

Sara @ Domestically Challenged said...

I totally believe you can do it. Your body is stronger than your mind, which is what is holding you hostage now!

Marlene said...

I wouldn't worry too much about your training. As long as you go into it for fun/experience, Disney and the crowds will carry you through it. The long highway stretches can be brutal so try to buddy up. Carry your camera, take it REALLY slow on Saturday and you'll get through it!

Gabrielle Dion said...

Ah, taper time. It's my favorite season of the year! It's normal to be nervous and think that you didn't do enough, just don't let it consume you. Enjoy the taper (and holidays!), and remember that all the work you've put in will pay off.

Amanda - RunToTheFinish said...

a. i agree with marlene
b. i think you have a very strong running base and mentality so you will do fine

aron said...

just have fun in your marathon!! your training and experience will get you through. keep a positive mind and have fun with it.

Laura said...

When I did Disney (not Goofy, just the full), I sprinted pretty quickly between characters but then stopped to take pictures along the way. It allowed me to not get tired AND come away with some awesome pics. Maybe look at this as just a fun opportunity to take lots of pics?

runner26 said...

yes, too hard on yourself. you are doing great! and a little overindulging won't hurt--you've got plenty of time til race day! i'm super impressed with the cold weather running--chicago winters are no joke. i am freezing my butt off and i'm told this is a "warm spell" huh.